nixed

I’m trying so hard to fit in. I’m trying so hard to reach out. I think it’s best to stop, no one cares anyway. Maybe I’ll just be okay with people who likes to stay with me. I hate myself when I feel down because of such little things. But these little things, I think, are the most important things in life.

Not reaching out would make me feel better. I will not experience rejection–something I also hate. Cliques lead to rejection, so I have to avoid trying to get in or even think that they will welcome me. Who am i kidding?

I will also prevent over-thinking like I could be a friend of some people. I always think that my friends will be forever. Also, I think they will be like me. It’s just that people have different personalities and I don’t think I can accommodate and accept all those ‘friends’ I call.

When I try to reach out but other people closes their doors, it’s better to look for other people who open it for me or better yet, those who don’t even close their doors.

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